Although my pride won't let me admit it, I struggled a lot with confidence growing up. It was something I definitely had to really earn. I heard somewhere that confidence is earned, and in my case, I'd say that's totally true.
I had a lot of self-doubt about my own abilities growing up; I always did the comparison game - you know, the one where you compare yourself to others? Yeah, there was a lot of that. While I used to just tell and remind people that I was confident, they would always tell me that there was an air of...well, no confidence. It would bother me so much because I thought I was really working on that part of myself. Nevertheless, remember the part where I said confidence is earned? You best believe I went through some shit that pushed me to really earn that confidence.
So how does one truly earn confidence? It's being unapologetically yourself and being sure in what you say. It's knowing that you can't please everyone and not everyone you cross paths with will like you, so you have to be totally okay with that. It's really earning that sense of self-worth through hardships or realizations. For me, confidence is truly being okay with who you are and loving that, because at the end of the day, you're all you've got.
Images taken by @stephygraffs
How many of us scroll through Instagram and social media only to (subconsciously) compare ourselves to what we see? I know I do it from time to time. In the past, I would do it almost on a daily basis - definitely not healthy behaviour at all. But it is something we all do, whether we like to admit it or not.
So, how can we check ourselves before we get trapped comparing ourselves to others? Here are some tips that worked for me in dealing with this and I hope they work for you too!
1 - Remember that social media is often the highlight reel to someone's life. Instagram and social media is pretty much a stage where we all put our best foot forward. Keep that in mind next time you think someone has "the perfect life".
2- Log off! Sounds harsh, but sometimes you need to just give yourself a break from social media to enjoy life and realize that your life and all that it involves isn't so bad either!
3-Everyone is different - again, everyone is different! This means that their path is different from yours. It's not the same and it's okay, in fact it's better that way! You have your own way of accomplishing things and just because that person is where you'd like to be, you won't take the exact same way there. So carve your own path and enjoy the ride!
4- Your chapter one is different from someone else's chapter 23. Just because someone else looks like they're doing better or are where you want to be, doesn't mean that you won't get there or they're better than you. We all had to start somewhere!
5- Celebrate your own victories. Let me tell you, it's super easy to get caught up in other people's wins over your own. I mean, people love sharing good news on social media! But while you're cheering someone else on, don't forget to celebrate all your accomplishments even though they may seem small to you.
How do you conquer the comparison game?
Images taken by @stephygraffs